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A．He will lend his bike to Tom.B．His bike has a flat tyre too.C．He cannot lend his bik
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Divorce: The Pain That Doesn't Go Away
They're called "broken homes" for good reason. Nearly everything breaks—possibly beyond repair—in divorce families: emotions, security, relationships, and possibly even a child's potential. Divorce means losing the security of an intact family. It shatters the supportive network of family and friends.
In her recent book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-year Landmark Study, Judith Wallerstein points out the long-term effects of divorce. Beginning in 1971, she periodically conducted in-depth interviews with 131 children and their parents from the time of divorce.
"We've seriously underestimated the long-term impact of divorce on children," she told Family Voice, "and the numerous ways a child's experiences differ when growing up in a divorced family."
The Divorce Revolution
At about 50 percent, the United States has the highest divorce rate among Western nations. Thankfully, it has been dropping since the early 1980s, but about half of marriages performed this year will still end in divorce. Shockingly, this rate is no better in Christian families. The Bama Research Group found in 1999 that 27 percent of those who identify themselves as born-again Christians are or previously were divorced, compared to 24 percent of remaining adults. Statistics like these represent a tidal wave of change during the past century.
Once considered a last resort, by the late 1900s divorce had become viewed as a liberating, even creative experience, a means of "finding oneself". Parents had generally stayed together for the children's sake. Then came the idea that children benefited more from their parents' happiness than from family structure. Even if children suffered at the time of their parents' break-up, so went the thinking, it would only be temporary. They would adjust and bounce back.
Our culture would like to hold on to this rosy picture, but it is out of touch with research—and with millions of Americans who have experienced the tragedy of divorce. By almost every measure, children of divorce live worse than their peers in intact families:
Poverty. By conservative estimates, women's standard of living after divorce drops 27 percent. Divorced, single-parent families are four times more likely to be poor than intact ones. The loss of a husband's income can pose tremendous hardships. Betty learned this when her marriage ended, leaving her to care alone for two toddlers.
Men, on the other hand, experience an increase in their standard of living. Some years ago this was widely exaggerated as 42 percent. However, more realistic figures now place it at 10 percent. Despite the stereotype of the carefree bachelor, divorced fathers take on the financial burden of maintaining two households, and this increases further with remarriage.
Out-of-wedlock pregnancies. Divorce predisposes teens to earlier sexual activity and out-of-marriage pregnancies.
Education. Children of divorce attain less educationally.
Marriage. They are more likely to view divorce and cohabitation favorably, marriage less favorably, and to become divorced themselves—especially if their spouse's parents are also divorced.
Behavior. As if these concerns are not enough, children of divorce are likely to have behavioral problems. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Katz, they are prone to lying, low achievement, denying responsibility for their own behavior, and difficulty in concentrating.
Emotions. Significant emotional consequences also occur. "Karen", who is profiled in Wallerstein's book, described living with a sense of doom, especially when she felt happy. "If happiness increases one's probability of experiencing loss, think how dangerous it must be to simply feel happy," Wallerstein writes.
Further, she found that
Some nongovernmental movement is undergoing for public recognition of the culture of marriage.
A．Sue only came to two of the parties.B．Sue missed most of the parties.C．Sue has been
By the late 20th century, Americans no longer took marriage seriously.
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