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A．Secretary.B．Associate manager.C．Typist.D．Accountant.
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Fran Stott is of the opinion that Spying might weaken the mutual trust between parents and
Yvonne Webster's sons occasionally took drug in school, so she searched the boy's rooms and went through their pockets.
Barbara Cavanagh supports spying on children and her approach is to limit her children's opportunities for wrong-doing.
Ruth Ann and Robert Lipic knew their children could make mistakes that could last a lifetime—maybe even shorten a lifetime. As former chairwoman of the Illinois chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Ruth Ann is well aware of the dangerous combination of teens, alcohol and cars. All three boys are now in their 20s, and "we're proud of them," she says.
The Lipics are not alone. In recent years many parents have thought they had to engage in action of spying to watch their kids closely. The reason for parental anxiety is clear. A 1999 report by the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan showed that about 62 percent of high school seniors reported having gotten drunk. The report also indicated that about 42 percent had used drugs in the last year.
Another survey shows that roughly 50 percent of high school girls and boys have engaged in the sexual intercourse(性交). Internet sex merchants and chatroom stalkers add to this trouble.
What isn't as clear is the rightness of parents' spying on their children. Is it right to read children's diaries, search their rooms, tail them to hangouts？ Conscientious parents can be found on both sides of the issue.
Some people believe that protection of a teen outweighs the right to privacy. Yvonne Webster, a mother of four boys aged 11 to 24, worried when she heard rumors that gangs were penetrating the local high school. "I got very nervous," she said. Fearing her two older sons were not telling her all she needed to know, she talked with their friends to find out what was going on at the school. "They were getting into shouting matches with students," she said of her sons. "But that was it."
She also searched the boy's rooms and went through their pockets, but she never found any evidence of a problem. To her, spying was justified, though she has not seen a need to do it with her younger sons. "Kids are precious, and we all need to be respectful of them," Webster said. "But when they enter high school and we see the problems they could be influenced by, we have to find ways to protect them. If spying is the route we have to take, I would do it."
She has plenty of company. The owner of The Spy Shop Inc., on Chicago's Near North Side estimates that 20 percent of his business in video-monitoring equipment is for families, including parents spying on their latchkey children(挂钥匙儿童). Home drug-testing is another market that's growing steadily. Bill Minor, marketing director for drug-test manufacturer Psychemedics Corp, said his company began offering the kits(装备) for home use several years ago at the request of parents. The kits require a snippet(片段) of hair to be sent to the company for analysis; results are available in about a week.
But espionage(间谍活动) can be dangerous to parent-child relationship, cautions Fran Stott, dean of academic programs at a graduate school in child development. "Spying is hostile," she explained, and might undermine any foundation of mutual trust a parent needs to build with a teenager.
"As parents, we are very anxious not to let children make mistakes, and our anxiety only causes more problems than it solves," Scott said. "That is not to say there aren't times when teenagers show signs we need to take very seriously—evidence of drug use, an eating disorder or a drinking problem. It is our job as parents to sort it out. I personally would try to do it in a more straight-forward way."
Severe distress will show itself in ways that don't require spying, she said, such as drastic changes in moods and grades or associations with new friends. Loving but not confrontation is a better approach than spying, said Stott. And if parents see evidence of severe trouble, she added, "Seek professional help. Your goal is not to stir your own anger; your goal is to help your child."
Teens tend to agree with Stott. "There
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