During the past ten or fifteen years,a great deal of attention has been【C1】______to"telling it like it is," or "letting it all hang out" My impression is that this overzealous devotion to speaking ones mind has more often led to hurt feelings and ruined relationships than to great joy and fulfillment. I think we generally agree that never expressing real feelings and repressing all less-than-lovely thoughts about each other【C2】______leads to constructive communication. Its a great relief to allow ourselves the luxury of acknowledging our human frailties and pursuing more honest relationships with others. But we need to strike a【C3】______between telling it all and telling nothing. Recently I received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty-five-year-old son to attend a weekend marathon with him. Under pressure from the group,her defenses collapsed and she heard herself telling her son for the first time that he had been an accident-that she hadnt been planning to have a child. He in【C4】______told her that he couldnt recall a single day in his childhood that he d been happy. "At that time," this woman wrote,"it seemed helpful. We cried and we made【C5】______; I thought telling the truth had been good for us. But the trouble is.it wasnt the whole truth. By the time Tommy was born I did want him,and at【C6】______he was happy. Ever since that day,weve both been haunted by some terrible feelings we shared. " I must admit that Ive come to the conclusion that some things are better left unsaid. Honesty is a fine policy as【C7】______as we know what the truth really is-but most of the time we dont Its a fine goal to encourage children to express their real feelings. And many marriages have been saved by an open confrontation of deep and painful misunderstandings. But we need a new sense of balance. Disclosure is not a panacea for every problem【C8】______even an end in itself. Its useful and freeing under some circumstances and terribly hurtful and damaging under others. Its a good idea,I think,to【C9】______your tongue for ten or fifteen minutes before saying whats【C10】______your mind. Try to decide whether its going to open up new and better avenues of communication or leave wounds that may never heal.
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